Wish upon a star
by CosmicWonders
Summary: Jean wakes up in the middle of the night and decides to pay a visit to Marco's grave.


**So, Hi! This is my first fanfiction so please don't eat me.**

**Wish upon a Star**

Jean woke up crying. He had once again dreamed of Marco, the boy he couldn't save. Every day it was the same, he saw Marcos broken bones still covered in ash from the fire. He sat up in his bed and put a hand over his mouth making sure not to wake the others with the sound of his sobbing. He got up and put of a pair of shoes and then proceeded to walk to the window. Looking outside at the stars always calmed him. He put his head in his hands and began to pick out different constellations in an attempt to forget his bad dream.

"So many stars are out tonight…" he mumbled to himself. He swung his feet over the window ledge, letting them dangle in the crisp night air. Tonight was different, no matter what amount of time he spent staring at the stars he still couldn't rid himself of the images in his mind. His thoughts traveled back to the bonfire and the burned bones and broken body of Marco. He felt the tears begin to make their appearance again. Slowly he withdrew his legs from the window and walked through the room looking for something he could use as a light source. After finding nothing he decided the light of the stars would be enough. He walked back over to the window but this time he jumped out, landing on the ground with a soft thud. He looked back at the house to make sure he hadn't woken anyone, and then took off at a run.

Jean Felt his feet hit the ground as he distanced himself from the other trainees. He slowed to a stop as he saw his destination, was it only his imagination or could he still smell the faint scent of burning wood. Looking at the area before him memories he had tried so hard to forget came rushing back; he could still feel the heat from the fire as it licked across Marcos pale face; see the tear streaked faces of his friends washed over with the harsh glow of the fire.

Forcing himself to walk forward he leaned down, plucking some violets from the earth beneath him. Taking tentative steps forward, he neared the site of the bonfire. Seeing one singular grave standing in the middle of the area he walked to it, remembering with a slight smile how it had got there: 

_"God Jean! Are you just gonna let Marco burn! Come on get your lazy ass over here and help me make this thing" Eren shouted, the annoyance with the horse faced boy evident in his tone. _

_"Eren if they find out about this they will have our heads!" Jean protested._

_"Rather that than forget Marco" Eren said. _

_Jean slowed to a stop, part of him wanting to leave before he got into any trouble and part of him wanting to join the suicidal bastard. After mentally kicking himself he walked over and helped Eren with positioning the stone._

_"There, this way no one will ever forget him!" Eren said obviously proud of his work. _

_Jean managed a halfhearted smile and then went back to looking at the tombstone. "It doesn't feel complete..." He muttered. Looking around for anything that might be missing. A patch of violets caught his eye. Carefully picking three of the flowers he placed them on Marcos makeshift grave. _

_He heard Eren take in a sharp breath beside him and looked back to see a pained expression on the others face. Eren turned away muttering something about going to find Armin, leaving Jean alone at the grave. _

_He looked at the grave taking a seat staring at the flowers he had placed on it. _

_"Marco... If you can hear me I want you to know we all miss you, especially me. You don't know how hard it's been trying to lead the others but I'll succeed, I know I will, for you."_

_Jean sat there for a while just talking to the grave. After a couple of minutes he felt Eren's presence behind him._

"_Hey Jean its getting dark, you should go and rejoin everyone else. No use making them worry any more than they already do." Eren said._

_Jean started to get up, still not turning away from the grave. "Ya I'll be right there just go on ahead." he said._

"_Oh, okay. Will do." Eren said, already turning back to the road. _

_He heard Eren's footsteps start to get farther and farther away, slowly he began to turn around as well. Suddenly his attention was drawing to the sky above him Eren was right, Jean could just see the last fading rays of sun make their way across the sky. He remained in that position as he saw the stars twinkle into existence in the sky. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a bright white streak of light. A shooting star. turning around he watched the star make its way across the sky. _

"_Ugh...I can't believe I'm doing this…" He said " Hey god, If you're listening, heck if you EXIST, please send me some sign that Marcos okay up there."_

_Jean felt a breeze tickle his face, sending a few runaway strands of hair into his eyes. _

"_Was that your sign? You're going to send me some shitty wind?" Jean said. "Oh well, better than nothing." He began walking down the road back to the remaining trainees to join them for dinner. _

Jean sighed, Why was it that he could only get along with Eren when it involved an emotionally traumatic situation? Walking to the grave he knelt in front of it, gently placing the violets on the cold earth.

"Hey Marco… It's been a while." He said to the stone. "What's it like up there? Made any new friends? As you can see I'm still stuck down here in this hell."

He picked up one of the flowers, twirling it around in his hand.

"Hey Marco, why… why did you go…" He said with tears threatening to leak out of his eyes. "Why wasn't I there to protect you…You had faith in me and I let you die! I wasn't even there to know how it happened…" he saw a drop of water fall onto the grave.

"Huh? It's not even raining is it," he held a hand to his face "Oh. No it's not raining all right." He felt the wetness on his hand and face, the tears he hated spilled freely from his eyes.

"I joined the survey corps for you Marco. I did it, just like you wanted to." he said with a shaky voice. "A-are you proud yet?"

Jean stood up, looking at the star dotted sky. Tears fell from his eyes to the stone cold dirt of Marcos grave.

"Can you see us down here Marco? All of us are fighting, but it's not getting any easier... Sometimes, Sometimes I wish I could join you. More often I'm scared I'll be the next one to die. This world is crazy, huh?" Jean said to the sky. He wiped the tears from his eyes, knowing it had no use as new ones just took their place.

Jean looked back down at the grave, seeing the small drops of moisture that had fallen from his eyes onto the ground. "Does humanity even stand a chance? Every day we lose more and more soldiers to the hands of the titans, but it never seems as if their numbers drop! Are we just stuck down here in an endless loop of terror before we die?" Jean said "As if you could hear me... you already made your way up there."

A twinkle from above caught Jean's eye. Jerking his face up again, he saw something unexpected; A shooting star. It was almost to coincidental, the second he began to doubt he was even being heard the stars send him a sign that they're listening."ahaha, just like that first day. I guess I'm supposed to wish for something now, right?" Jean smiled although the pain was still evident on his features. "I wish I make it out of this... for your sake."

Slowly gathering himself he turned away from the grave. "Hey Marco, your watching over me, aren't you." Jean said. He knew it was true. A breeze came by and tickled his cheek. Jean smiled again. "Thank you." he whispered.

Slowly he began to make his way back to the trainee's house. He felt better, knowing that for some reason his dreams of Marco would become more easily bearable. Was it because he knew Marco was happy, or because Marco still watched over him. He walked on In silence, with only his thoughts and the stars.

Jean neared the house, making sure not to wake anyone. He walked up to his window and grabbed on to the ledge. As quietly as possible he swung his legs over the windowsill and into the room. Maneuvering the rest of his body through the opening, he snuck to his bed. Removing his shoes he slipped under the covers and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, Marco" he said. The words barley more than a whisper.

Although it seemed impossible, Jean could have sworn he heard a familiar voice say "Goodnight Jean, I will always be here with you."

Jeans last thoughts before succumbing to sleep were that sometimes, it was okay to wish upon a star.


End file.
